Holiday withdrawal symptoms

We’ve all had them! The holiday blues when we come back home and that lovely holiday seems a distant memory already, our beautiful home doesn’t seem as beautiful any more and added to that it’s raining.

OK, so today I am feeling holiday withdrawal symptoms but not the ones we get when we come back home to wet Britain from somewhere sunny but the ones you get when there is to be no holiday at all! I guess at this time of year I’m usually looking forward to an imminent holiday and that really lifts my spirits. Sometimes we have two separate weeks somewhere and sometimes we have a fortnight somewhere hot. This year it was to be two separate weeks; one dancing and one not. I had only got round to booking one of the weeks fortunately before I was diagnosed with Myeloma but I haven’t yet cancelled it as I was hoping we may still be able to go, now that I am on treatment I can’t go so that’s that! I now have to contact the insurance company and try and get my money back; a job for this week. Fortunately I booked it before my diagnosis so I’m hoping they will pay out.

So now I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the holiday that is no more. I want a change of scenery, change of routine and a change of weather! I love my house but quite frankly I am sick of being in it all the time at the moment. When I was working I used to long to spend more time at home, now I just want to get out of it! If we had some decent weather here maybe I could ship in some sand to make a beach and pretend I’m on holiday? No, don’t think that would work somehow.

It’s bad enough when you come home from a holiday, you know that feeling of having to get back into a strict routine, how did that fortnight disappear so quickly, depression then sets in; why don’t I have lots more money so I can go away more often, which usually leads to how can I get more money in order to go away more often! Inevitability someone you know seems to have more holidays than you, goes on more expensive holidays than you or to places you have only ever dreamed of so then jealousy sets in and we feel even more sorry for ourselves. And worst of all, we have to go back to work!

OK so I thought all that was bad enough but now I can’t go at all! To make it worse my daughter is currently on the holiday of a lifetime travelling the USA and Canada and keeps sending me photos and face timing me! I want to go! Holiday withdrawal symptoms when you come back are bad enough but withdrawal symptoms from the holidays you aren’t going to get are most definitely worse!

So I thought maybe I could entertain myself by planning next year; I’d like to go on a dancing holiday in June, but then I got depressed again; will I be well enough after the stem cell transplant to go then? And even if I can go I’ll have to think about my sensitivity to the sun following chemo, plus the radiotherapy I had on my eye due to the Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma I had there earlier in the year. What about infection, fatigue? Added to all this how much is my insurance going to cost me now I have a cancer diagnosis?! More depression set in! Maybe planning next year is not such a good idea after all!

Perhaps I need days out! Yes, that might be the answer but pining my husband down to be able to have a day out that fits in with his work load and is on one of my ‘good’ days is not easy and probably won’t happen either! Urgh!

Looks like I’m back to hoping we get some reasonable weather and sitting in the back garden then. In the UK that’s a big ask!

 

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2 thoughts on “Holiday withdrawal symptoms

  1. Future planning is really a problem- having just returned from a living overseas with a new job lined up in the Seychelles- which I have had to turn down I can completely empathise. My family are still overseas but return soon, then we have to make the best of it here. I find out next week when they are going to do the Stem Cell Treatment – then onto the next phase. It’s like living in a mist never able to see more than a few metres in front but at least thee is progress and I remain positive.

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    1. I have just taken voluntary redundancy from my job as I am likely to be off another year I suspect and they were going to stop paying me next month anyway. It also seemed the fairest thing to do to my colleagues; I’m a lecturer so they need to plan ahead a year at a time. This condition changes your whole perspective on things too: I decided I am also sick of spending all my life teaching, planning and marking as being a lecturer is not a 37 hour a week job. Hopefully when I am in remission I can look for something part time and less stressful. At least my family are grown and I own my own house so I don’t have to worry about putting a roof over their heads. I should be having a Stem Cell Transplant at the end of the year after I have finished my current treatment on Velcade and Dexamethesone. As you say its important to remain positive. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow”. Ive no idea who said this but it rings true for me. Good luck with the SCT.

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